There was a point in my life where I didn’t know what I wanted or where I was going. I was completely unsure of my life. I desired to be one of those people that had everything planned out, and they knew what was behind every corner or their journey. I wanted to be sure of every decision I made, but nothing ever seemed to fit.
I went through my childhood thinking I wanted to do one thing, but then something would seem so much better, and that would be my ultimate goal. Even through high school I was pretty much the same way. It was dentist, and then it was teacher, and then it was this, and then it was that. I never really knew what I wanted. I just went with what was the best idea at the time. Now that I look back on it, I every one of my choices had something to do with money, or trying to make it where I didn’t really have to work at all.
Once I joined the military, the changed. I had a steady paycheck, I had insurance, and I could count on them. Now everyone thinks that once you join the military you have this massive income. Please get that out of your heads, because it is not true. I’m not complaining. I live comfortably. I would just prefer that everyone not think we are rolling in hundred dollar bills.
Anyway, once I had something to cushion myself, I guess that’s the right phrase, my mind began to search for more reliable paths. Paths that would in the end make me happy. I found myself becoming a very goal oriented person. I became so busy pursuing these goals that sometimes there was never room for anyone else, even myself. I accepted it though and I kept pushing. I figured that one day it would eventually pay off.
Some people see me as not caring about others, but one thing that I learned before this all started was that there are some people that just don’t fit. Your journey is like a puzzle, and there are peoples that fit and help things flow naturally, and there are some that just don’t. so, it’s not that I don’t care about others, it’s that there are people that will simply weigh me down, and that is something that I do not need. I find myself having to explain that to people. Sometimes it ends well, sometimes it doesn’t. sacrifices have to be made sometimes, and a sacrifice to better myself is a good sacrifice.
Now, I’m not saying that I just drop these people out of my life. I try to help them. I try to help them see that there are ways to become better, but not everyone wants to better themselves. So, I help the ones I can and stay available, but distant, for those that are not ready.
Throughout this journey there have been struggles. Oh, have there been struggles. The biggest one of all would be balancing. I find it difficult to balance a career, balance furthering my education, and balancing a social life. In the end though, my social life suffers the most. Don’t get me wrong, I go out and I have a good time, but you will not see me in the streets every weekend. I have responsibilities, and more often than not, these responsibilities are prioritized above having a good time.
So, what’s the entire reasoning behind this post. I guess it’s to say that I have found my calling, I have made my goals, and things are working. It took me a while to get here, but I did it. Well, I’m still doing it…
Have a good one!